I have posted some pretty amazing (at least I have been amazed) before and after pictures of things I have cleaned. But I have to admit that recently, on more than one occasion, I have doubted whether I could really get things clean, even with my steamer.
Then I thought about my family and friends, and the people who have profoundly affected my life.
Have I doubted them? Their sincerity? Questioned why they care for me? What they see in me?
I am just beginning to understand that I have innate worth: not because of what I have accomplished, not because of what I can offer, but because of who I am. This has been a significant shift in my life.
I have listened to lectures and participated in discussions about the difference between believing in Christ (in theory) and believing Christ (in MY life).
It is easy to see things in theory and to hope..... But it is a whole different experience to live it.
I am beginning to trust that I am good enough, just the way I am. That I don't have to prove myself. That I don't need to DO anything to make people love me. That I can, and have the capacity to, love without expectation of reciprocation.
I have been close to my steamer for many months. I used it so much one day - it was hot for such a prolonged time that some of it's components melted. I didn't pay attention and take care of it. Thankfully, I was able to get the parts and Eric fixed it.
Sometimes we wear out the people closest to us and we need to fix things. Sometimes, there is so much damage, that there is no possibility of fixing. And that can hurt. But there is always the opportunity to learn.
As I have been cleaning I have learned to trust that with effort, intention, and perseverance, I can accomplish the seemingly impossible.
This is my steamer machine!
The buttons don't match and that is difficult for me (ha ha), but I have overcome the need for sameness and consistency through my gratitude for a once again functioning machine.
What to do with the FLOOR?
The other cleaning methods may work just fine, but it's more effort and a bigger mess.
I'll stick with my steamer.
THE PANTRY (2 days to clean it)
Pantry floor BEFORE
Pantry floor AFTER
THE LIVING ROOM (almost 2 weeks to clean it)
3 Levels of Steam
Oil and Staining
The next oil spot
Before and after is just plain satisfying
THE LAUNDRY ROOM (3 days to clean it)
I started cleaning because the dog had an accident. I couldn't stop....
Notice the light spots?
I spent THREE DAYS cleaning the Laundry room floor.
Inch by itty bitty inch by itty bitty inch, towel by towel (40+).
"It's like when you go camping for a week and think you got a little color from the sun.
And then you take a shower and realize - nope, it was just DIRT!"
FUTURE LIBRARY (1 full day to clean)
FRONT ROOM (3 days to clean)
Old dining room area - Future spot for the wood burning stove and a seating area.
Notice the line and difference in coloration in front of the rug? Clean!
WINDOWS (5 minutes per window)
We have decided that we will install flooring. We are still debating different solutions.
In the mean time I want a clean floor to live on. I have the entry, the kitchen-dining area, and the utility room left. And then our floors will be completed.