Tuesday, March 10, 2020

I'm Rednecker Than You part 1

There are some things that change when you move from the city to the country....  Things I didn't think were funny, safe, or acceptable are now creative, entertaining, and even encouraged.
As my neighbor introduced me to the popular song, "I'm Rednecker Than You," I noticed that some things ring true.

When your daughter is obsessed with bow hunting.  That she gets a compound bow but wants one she can actually hunt with.  Is given a compound bow with a draw weight too heavy for her and she practices several hours a day so she CAN use it.

When she builds a target stand for her archery practice with what she finds lying around.

When the only thing she wants for Christmas is a cross bow!  and she pools her gift money together and gets it!

When multiple members in the family are excited to get a deer stand and can hardly wait till the next hunting season.

When your kiddos beg you to go out and learn how to shoot a gun.

And they hit the paper plate target several times!
Then you let them take the gun when there are dangerous animal sightings (wild cats) nearby and there is work to be done anyway.

When you encounter the side of the road groomer

or pass farm equipment on the highway.  Yes, 55+ mph highway!


When you son gets super creative with animal cages and string and has patience and calm (you never knew he had) for hours and hours to catch cats that have been dumped off and found their way to our property.

When the afternoon fun is foam sword fights.  It's AGGRESSIVE!  And they sometimes beat their dad.

When you find an armadillo (despite looking like gigantic rolly pollies, they ARE wild and can carry leprosy) under your porch and your daughter thinks it's "so cute"  and you feel compelled to say "DON'T TOUCH IT!" before she tries to pet it.

When cutting wood becomes a musical jam session on "drums."

When you don't have trash service and you hire a private trash guy to haul off as much of your "burn pile" as possible, because you cannot bring yourself to burn it on the spot.

And after looking into every possible trash collection service and no one will come to your location, AND there is a bear sighting by TWO of your neighbors, you choose recycle as much as possible and acquiesce to burning the rest.

When school includes learning how to make a bow drill and start a fire with only wood and string... and a knife.

When you have never worked on your car, not even an oil change, and your starter goes out.  And everyone tells you it's easy, "just 2 bolts."  So you try it.  

AND you discover that it's not just two bolts and a wire - it's 2 bolts and 2 wires, so you strain to hold the thing with one hand and get the wire free with your other hand while asking for the tools you need from someone who has less of a clue that you.

When you run out of propane and cook on the wood burning stove without changing the menu.

When you have an old RV with no engine or tires and someone takes the back half with the trailer you offer and then never returns. AND you list the front half "as is" with no trailer incentive....

And people want it!  And they actually come and take it away for you! 
(metal recycling is big out here, but Eric and I did not want to deal with this)

When the screen at the top of the chimney needs to be cleaned and dad volunteers the kids to sit on the roof at the base of the ladder for support, as he precariously climbs to reach it.....  Because propping the ladder up on the slick metal roof with scrap 2x8's didn't work.

When splitting and stacking wood has become a "well oiled" family affair.

When you try to clean the steering wheel of your old farm truck but the "wet" just keeps coming off black in your hands, so you scan the cab and find a grocery sack, as you are driving on cruise control, and fit it over the steering wheel.

And then you realize that after several miles, while turning onto a different highway, you actually need to see the speedometer........ so you rip a hole in the bag and WA LA!

Then you buy a steering wheel cover....

When this is the scene after a day of harvesting wood.

When you burn over HALF of your land in 2 days!  ON PURPOSE! (more on that soon)

When you walk out of the local Walmart and there are SEVERAL 4x4 trucks in a row, and you realize this is the norm!

These are just a few of the gems we have experienced over the last 18 months!  Reaching our new normal has been quite an adventure.   There may be more to come.  But we have definitely crossed over.  I'm proud to say" I'm rednecker than you!"

Which is your favorite gem?

1 comment:

  1. My Dad would have LOVED this post. We would have talked about it for quite a while. Especially about how he might know where there is good bow hunting.